FSL: An idea from the deaf

It was during our class last Saturday when we talked about the FSL ( Filipino Sign Language) and its originality, the main reason for its existence. If you are going to ask its difference compared to the ASL          ( American Sign Language), actually no difference except from some things like the used of the dominant hands, the more exaggerated way of signing the words or a whole statement, but the signs of the different words are all the same like in the ASL. The FSL people said that they are Filipino Sign Language in English meaning they will still be using the ASL in most of their signings, then how would this help the deaf people if they will just be the shadow of the ASL. If their signs are the same of that of the ASL , why do they need to create this one ? Is it only for the title? The need to have a name maybe is the name of the game.

Teach me how to sign. This is how they described their purpose. Teach how the hearing people sign so they can communicate with the deaf. In the other way around, teaching the deaf their own language. Not all deaf people know how to sign, funny isn't it? They do not know how to sign; it is the same as a kid who doesn't know how to talk, the guidance coming from us the hearing is very vital, we have all the chances and ways on how we can extend our hands to these people.

When we were talking about the FSL in our class, one deaf signed that he's a little disappointed with the FSL for he cannot see its purpose , he expressed through signs that if the FSL really wanted to help them then why do they just created it now after the deaf people memorized and used the ASL. But for me, whether ASL or FSL no problem! As long as the deaf individuals will be benefited  , ASL or FSL are big help.

an unexpected everyday lesson

It was already almost two months ago when I was asked by my former student if I can teach English to a Korean. I told her that I will first look at my schedule then if I can still accommodate it, or if not I will recommend her someone who can handle the job. When she said that the Korean will stay only for two months I barely answered her YES. Maybe because at that time I was a sort of a little bored with my schedule or I was really shy to say NO...hehehe it was already the second time because I was also asked by my other former student ( another one) to teach a Korean and I said NO to that person so I think that this time I have no capacity to decline the job.

Our meetings were postponed three times , until I finally met him.
It was just a casual day, I and my former student went to the factory where the said Korean is working. We were introduced. I never thought that he's young and not to mention he is indeed good looking. He talked to me shyly because he really cannot express himself in English. He just nodded his head and smile. Before that first meeting ended, we agreed to meet on Monday the following week. Then at night I received an email from him telling how sorry he was for he really cannot explain anything in English and asking for my help to teach him the language.

Then when Monday came, I was a kind of nervous because I know that I would start from scratch. I remembered those days when I was still teaching in elementary where I needed to start from the sounds. My being the IPA queen be tested again, and I was not wrong for that thinking. For several days of going to the factory... to and fro... plus those days of typhoon, and I still making it a point that I attend our classes. Those days of researching over the net , printing handouts that we will be using, sending emails of the day-to day lesson, practicing the sounds of every letter in the alphabet... now I can proudly say that my Korean student is improving! And I congratulate myself for that!

But I would like to share that being together for one hour a day from July 2 up to now is an experience I cannot forget. Why? because I am teaching him English and he is teaching me a lot of things about life, those things that we sometimes neglect. He said one day that working is not always fun and that you should not work all the time because your happiness will be forgotten. He said that a piggy bank once full is for enjoyment; that you should not put a bill in a piggy bank but coins only ( funny isn't it? ) I told him, " what if i want to put a bill in a piggy bank, will it still be not aloud?" He said, " what you should put in a piggy bank are those remain money from a buy, and they are not so important, and once it's full you will enjoy it." Do not use save money from a piggy bank in saving it again but use it to enjoy".   Come to think of it, it makes sense.   He said that while he is young he will work and enjoy , do not work so hard because in the end you will not enjoy it. Those are just few from the things he always share everyday. By the way, he is basically snob. So when you look at him you might thought that he is difficult to be with , but actually he has a lot of humor.

please understand teacher

She visited me that morning and asked me about the increasing number of MR students in her computer class. She is our computer teacher, she teaches the MR's to manipulate the computer.

"Ma'am, why do we add another two students in my class? I have already three and that's enough I cannot handle that number of MR students it's difficult" , she said. "Ma'am what shall I do, I cannot say no to parents. Aside from that, our school is the only institution for special children. If we will not accept them, then who will?" I answered her. That was the last conversation that we had, the MR's are still in her class and enjoying the privilege of using the computer units.

If I can only teach all the subjects and competencies that my special children have to learn, I will not bother other teachers. I know it is difficult because even I who has background knowledge on how to handle the special children is still having some difficulties in dealing with them. It might be difficult, yes, but the idea that they are special and that the level of their intelligence are not the same as us, that reality may change ones behavior and accept all the challenges of catering them and giving them the opportunity to learn.

Teacher's responsibility is really unique. If we can perform this effectively and efficiently we can see how lives may change because of us.
I am asking my fellow workers in this field, please be patient, please understand. Let us work hand in hand .

a test of patience

                  

                      PATIENCE

I am beginning to think things out, my ADHD ( Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder) student is now beginning to show his real self. My day is a bit difficult today. He tests my patience.


It was during the break time when I noticed that water coming from our kitchen was flowing, I then discovered that the water was coming from our water dispenser. I asked my MR if who have forgotten it. All of them were pointing to one person only.... to Carl my ADHD student, but he shouted and said NOOOOOOOOOO! 


Everybody looked at him. He laughed. I just thought  that he intentionally did it to catch attention. Mark my CP also became so unbecoming because of Carl. Carl always ask him to do something and provoke him to try everything. Carl will challenge my patience for sure. 


I decided to give him some behavior modification. I wish that this plan will work on him and will make him a better one.




~ alter ego

you were specially made

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. ~ Lady Bird
















" Mark, do you want to be a politician? " 

This was my question to Mark my CP (Cerebral Palsy) student one morning. He was so restless that day. He was walking, standing, roaming around when I caught his attention. He just smiled and ignored me. When I called his name again.... he said, "why ma'am?" I told him that I noticed him walking around like politician during campaign period. In my surprised, he laughed out loud and said, " I do not want to be a politician, they are liars." 

That incident made the day extra special. Why?... Special children are really unique. They have something uniquely, originally in them. It, again proved that though they are not mentally equal compared to most children, they still can observe, realize and conclude. We can say that what Mark uttered that morning was nothing to him. He might just said it unintentionally; he might have no basis; he might not have any acquaintances to any politician. He might forgot everything he said because in one way or another he's not aware of it. After we made a short conversation, he left me. He left me still wondering why he said that.
He joined with his other classmates and laughed together.

I observed them and smiled..... I opened my locker and got my journal for another anecdotal record. I wrote my observation that day. What I saw, what I felt, what I experienced . I kept my record with the details I wrote in it as I kept everything in my heart.

~ alter ego

the love from the heart

" I really wish I could tell you what I am thinking "










It was an ordinary morning in the classroom. I was busy cutting and pasting some stuff to decorate the newly painted room when my ID ( Intellectually Disabled this is how Mentally Retarded labeled nowadays) student approached and asked me this: Ma'am, bakit ba kami tinawag na special?  I was surprised a bit then abruptly returned composure and answered him with a smile. "Kasi you are normal children who need special attention". He smiled and asked me again.   "Ano yun ma'am?"    "Hahahahahaha... ang sabi ko kaya special kasi may mga bagay na kelangan nyo, kelangan iparamdam sa inyo, kelangan ituro sa inyo, kelangan ibigay sa inyo dahil kung wala ang mga ito    hmmmmm baka di nyo matutunan ang mga bagay na dapat nyo matutunan."    He smiled again and said,   " Ang haba naman ng paliwanag ma'am, siguro kaya kami tinawag na special kasi kulang-kulang kami".    Those words broke my heart.    I didn't know how to answer it; how would I react; what would I say. What I just remembered that time was the world momentarily stopped. I couldn't recall if I smiled or stared at him what I just knew was that this kid needed an answer and I needed to answer him. I needed to give him a clear definition of the word special; I needed to make him feel that he despite his disability is still loved by the people around him.

He did not wait for an answer. He left me and joined his other classmates who were at that time busy laughing and doing some activities. He left me and didn't even look back as if nothing bothered him. I just thought that maybe that question just struck his mind that after he asked he forgot about it. I just grabbed my notepad and wrote what had happened that day for the anecdotal record.

I was so restless. I can't imagine how their parents made them feel so loved. The acceptance stage for sure was the most difficult one, but the parents love their children so much. I wish I can tell these children what I feel, and can say the things they needed to hear.

my sky

Though we're far, 
we're near in spirit
just look up high.....


we're sharing the same sky

How many people in this world do the same thing as I do? Looking up the sky. When I was a child, I made a hobby of looking up the sky. I do not know when and how it started, but that thing makes me comfortable. It, for a day, answers questions as well, like if I will bring an umbrella, if what particular clothes I will wear, if it is advisable to go out, if I will wear shoes or just a comfy slipper.

Looking up the sky helps me a lot.

Now, that I am an adult. I still do the same. I look up the sky, and think those things that bothers me and it helps a lot. Though today it's not as simple as deciding the clothes to wear or whether I will bring umbrella or not, looking up the sky is still my sort of choice in finding an answer.

When I miss people I adore dearly and I know I can't see them; I just look up the sky. They might be far, they might be out of sight, but one thing is for sure .... we're under the same sky and that thought is a relief.

This might sound funny and awkward, but this act is uniquely mine.

 I might be sound differently to others but in looking up the sky gives me a feeling of security, peace, calmness.

you know my name, not the things I went through

I do not ask you to think what I think,

But please think in my way

For that is the only way to reach my soul....

People see others the way they want to look at them. You see them laugh, advise, giggle, goofing around.

Otherwise, no one sees them when they are alone, no one reads their minds in their most quiet hour.

No one might understand why they are thinking that way.

Are they weird? maybe yes for others but for people who knew them very well... they are unique. A unique being who sometimes thought everything for themselves.

In the most quiet time of a person's life he can find himself. He can understand why things have to be harshed sometimes. He can see both sides of the life situations and accept them. In that most quiet time he can appreciate the beauty of nature. The sunset , the waves, the sand.. everything around him that maybe nonsense to others but for him in his most quiet time is everything.

Then he reminisced all the things that happened to him in the past....good and bad, some among those things helped him to be a better one others made him worst... still he thank God for everything.

i can see clearly now

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright, bright

sun shiny- day...

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone

all of the bad feelings have disappeared

We cannot design the life that we want for many reasons. First, we can only use the opportunity or chances that we have on hand. Second, our finances dictate the things that we can do. Third, our parents sometimes hinder us. For those things mentioned, prove that life though we would like it to be better will not always be like that.

Same thing with our love life. We wish to be with a person that we love. We meet people along the way then think that one of these people will be our soul mate forever..sadly they are not until fate throw its magical quirk and let you fall in love with another person. We are always fooled by these circumstances that victimized us.

Then, we're ruin. We cry, we feel that everything is not on its right place. We want to retrieve the pieces from that unfortunate joke that the fate gave us. Suddenly, we look for companion then we found it from the people who help us to smile...our friends. We want solitude. We want to escape, to hide, to be somebody else. After that, we found ourselves. ....we then start to laugh, start to live, recognized the beauty of life and the things it offers. We found time for ourselves,. We picked up the pieces and mold them again to a new us. ...stronger, wise, cautious, more beautiful, free-spirited and still able to love again.

Then... we look back from our past selves. We saw her in the dark still crying waiting for the person she dreamed for a long time who at the moment is happy with someone else. We pity her. Then we smile, walk, sing and thank God because He made us a different person. Then we become proud of ourselves..... :)

upside down

" If you love..sacrifice, compromise, if you don't want to sacrifice and compromise then don't love... if you don't want to love... don't live!"

This quote hit me as i was watching the show of Anderson while he was doing the interview with Madonna last Sunday. Many questions bugged me afterwards, how far would a person do or undertake for the sake of love? Will those things worth to be sacrificed? What if you love the person but what you have sacrificed are not enough? Are you going to sacrifice everything, as in everything? When will you know that you need to stop sacrificing and loving the person?

These questions really made me think the whole day. And until now I am still confuse with the idea that keep on playing in mind. What if... I am just wasting my time with the emotion i thought will last for lifetime? What if... the decision I made long time ago for choosing the person to be with is a mistake? What if... God really want me to be alone.

Am I really ready to compromise and sacrifice everything up to the point that my own happiness will be set aside? With the present relationship that I have, there are times that I feel confuse whether or not I am really for it. I have some sleepless nights thinking and thinking over and over again for the life I am leading to. Not to mention the fact that I am not complete for not having a child of my own, and I realized that being married is not enough. I admired those couple who stick to the relationship though they are not blessed with children. And I admired those husbands and wives who have the guts to talk the matter over without arguing.

I always end up with a sad realization that I might not be happy and contented. With the people who know me may understand me; for those who cannot and will based their impression on what they read here.... I don't care!

guilty addiction

Cherish every moment........

She always has this in her mind.

To cherish every moment for she knows that it will not last.

He will be tied the knot soon so after then everything will change.

She knew it from the start but ignores it.

Now, the reality is near otherwise she needs to accept it.

It 's a funny story that the person you knew long time ago and dreamed to be with before loved another person . You were young then... and it broke your heart. Perhaps you hated falling in love again. But every time you got the chance to see him the pain faded away and you noticed that the love was still there.

Then......the circumstances let the both of you to be apart. Suddenly, you lost communication. Years passed, the only thing you have in your mind is the memory about him. Those things that you treasured and will always treasure. Then you thought that maybe you are not meant to be.

No news, no information for many years.... you sometimes heard something about him from his friend and every time you heard that you still feel the same feelings..... fresh, young love then you asked yourself why...you always end up with the same answer.. " i don't know".

You made your own life. You met new person. You set aside the feelings for in that time you knew that it's useless and you feel that you both do not have the same feelings. Though a part of your heart is still owned by that someone you started to have a life of your own.

Until that day .....

It was just an ordinary day for you when a chance came your way. That chance opened the opportunity to talk or at least say hello to the person you loved long time ago. He was the same person you knew. He loves his music, he is a funny guy, he speaks with sense ( hmmmmm not all the time... it's just that you feel it has sense because he is special hahahha).

Suddenly you retrieved all those days during your younger years. You heard from him that he will get married soon. Oh! you smiled. You are so happy for him. You somehow wish a certain thing, that wish that you just wanted to keep in your heart. Keeping that wish forever for you knew that no one will be interested to hear it or rather you don't have the guts to tell it even to the closest person in your life.

You got the chance to talk to him everyday. It always brighten your day. You enjoy every moment because you knew that sooner it will end. It will end for he is about to enter a new chapter of his life and you do not want to intervene.

So cherish every moment.

Store the memories in your mind.

Keep it for yourself.......... at the end of the day you will be happy thinking and reminiscing those moments that you are sharing thoughts together.

What does this 2012 promise us?

People are always busy preparing for the stuff in the coming year, thinking what to buy, what to cook, what to give to inaanaks etc.

We keep ourselves busy. What if after December 31, 2011 11:59 is the end of the world..hahahahhaha. Are we prepared who will eat the food that we prepared, who will receive the gifts that we bought?

Joking aside , we should live today. Let us not worry for the future. Let us give the best of ourselves to everybody. Be cheerful, worry not and live and love fully.