you know my name, not the things I went through

I do not ask you to think what I think,

But please think in my way

For that is the only way to reach my soul....

People see others the way they want to look at them. You see them laugh, advise, giggle, goofing around.

Otherwise, no one sees them when they are alone, no one reads their minds in their most quiet hour.

No one might understand why they are thinking that way.

Are they weird? maybe yes for others but for people who knew them very well... they are unique. A unique being who sometimes thought everything for themselves.

In the most quiet time of a person's life he can find himself. He can understand why things have to be harshed sometimes. He can see both sides of the life situations and accept them. In that most quiet time he can appreciate the beauty of nature. The sunset , the waves, the sand.. everything around him that maybe nonsense to others but for him in his most quiet time is everything.

Then he reminisced all the things that happened to him in the past....good and bad, some among those things helped him to be a better one others made him worst... still he thank God for everything.

i can see clearly now

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright, bright

sun shiny- day...

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone

all of the bad feelings have disappeared

We cannot design the life that we want for many reasons. First, we can only use the opportunity or chances that we have on hand. Second, our finances dictate the things that we can do. Third, our parents sometimes hinder us. For those things mentioned, prove that life though we would like it to be better will not always be like that.

Same thing with our love life. We wish to be with a person that we love. We meet people along the way then think that one of these people will be our soul mate forever..sadly they are not until fate throw its magical quirk and let you fall in love with another person. We are always fooled by these circumstances that victimized us.

Then, we're ruin. We cry, we feel that everything is not on its right place. We want to retrieve the pieces from that unfortunate joke that the fate gave us. Suddenly, we look for companion then we found it from the people who help us to smile...our friends. We want solitude. We want to escape, to hide, to be somebody else. After that, we found ourselves. ....we then start to laugh, start to live, recognized the beauty of life and the things it offers. We found time for ourselves,. We picked up the pieces and mold them again to a new us. ...stronger, wise, cautious, more beautiful, free-spirited and still able to love again.

Then... we look back from our past selves. We saw her in the dark still crying waiting for the person she dreamed for a long time who at the moment is happy with someone else. We pity her. Then we smile, walk, sing and thank God because He made us a different person. Then we become proud of ourselves..... :)

upside down

" If you love..sacrifice, compromise, if you don't want to sacrifice and compromise then don't love... if you don't want to love... don't live!"

This quote hit me as i was watching the show of Anderson while he was doing the interview with Madonna last Sunday. Many questions bugged me afterwards, how far would a person do or undertake for the sake of love? Will those things worth to be sacrificed? What if you love the person but what you have sacrificed are not enough? Are you going to sacrifice everything, as in everything? When will you know that you need to stop sacrificing and loving the person?

These questions really made me think the whole day. And until now I am still confuse with the idea that keep on playing in mind. What if... I am just wasting my time with the emotion i thought will last for lifetime? What if... the decision I made long time ago for choosing the person to be with is a mistake? What if... God really want me to be alone.

Am I really ready to compromise and sacrifice everything up to the point that my own happiness will be set aside? With the present relationship that I have, there are times that I feel confuse whether or not I am really for it. I have some sleepless nights thinking and thinking over and over again for the life I am leading to. Not to mention the fact that I am not complete for not having a child of my own, and I realized that being married is not enough. I admired those couple who stick to the relationship though they are not blessed with children. And I admired those husbands and wives who have the guts to talk the matter over without arguing.

I always end up with a sad realization that I might not be happy and contented. With the people who know me may understand me; for those who cannot and will based their impression on what they read here.... I don't care!