Nanay

She is the superwoman for us. The very disciplinarian. The most masungit but very loving nanay.

She will always make you feel that you are loved and cared. The most masipag and understanding. She will always touch you with her hands....yes her hands, we will not forget your hands nanay...... your hands pictured how you really love us , how you really care for us, how you work for us. I and my three other sisters know how you give and provide us the things we need. "Baluktot na mga daliri mo nay pero napaka lambot pa din nito, malambot pa din mga palad mo." We will not forget your hands... and we will never forget them and we cannot touch them again.

You are our strength.

When Ate gave birth for Ice , you were there . I saw how you feel the discomfort of seeing that your child is in the midst of the most difficult situation in the life of a woman. I witnessed how you moved from your seats and might even wish to bear all the pain that Ate was having that time.

When we discovered that Ate Sally was pregnant, you was so worried . You want to be with her . I remembered when you told us" " sabihin mo kay ate Sally mo umuwi na walang nag aasikaso sa kanilang mag- ina". We will never forget that.

When Nene graduated you are the happiest mother. We see how you were so sad when Nene didn't make the exam on the first try. And you gave Nene the most encouraging words to pursue and never to stop.

Your wish is to see us finish college and to have a good future. We are so thankful that value education so much because of that we strive to pursue and reach the status we are now.

I will never forget your touch every time I have a fever. You said ," si Ilah ang pinakasakitin kong anak, paglabas nyan sa liwanag bumahin na at may sipon na agad". " si ilah ang pinaka malaki kong anak 11 pounds yan", that is why I always adore you nanay because I know that you risk your life for me. And I failed you, I failed because I don't become a mother. I don't pay you back. I'm sorry nay....

We will always miss you

Unbearable Pain

The pain.......

I don't understand why people have to undergo this kind of pain. Why do we need to cry, why do we need to experience this pain that is killing us.

We thought that we will go home with nanay free from sickness like those days when she was hospitalized. We thought that it was like the old problem.

I will never forget that moment when while I was busy looking for a blood donor I called my sister and asked her for the update of our mother's condition and she told me that , " ate nirerevive na si nanay", that very painful moment. I will not forget that, I want to turn back the time and will never leave my mother's side. I wish I was there, I wish I was holding her hands and letting her know that I was there and that she should hold on and that we're family and will never leave her what ever happens.

It's very painful....

We will miss you nanay.... the pain of the reality that you are no longer around is killing us but since we know that you are with God now free from sickness, free from pain and happy made us strong and made us alive.

We love you nanay

Better and Busier

Things are getting better now, better and busier. I fixed some problems at home and that's better . On the other hand, I am tasked to make an Action Research about the Hearing Impaired meaning I will be busier now compared with my previous days.

Action Research! Oh no! It's already been a while since I made my last thesis proposal and title defense and I can say it was a heck of an experience. I won't forget that day when I was alone in going to some big libraries and universities in Manila to look for some Related Literature. I won't forget those days when I was reading the piles of books in National Library without having yet a breakfast because I was rushing and thinking that every second is important.

From National Library, I was in a haste going to Philippine National University and used their library there. I even learned how to use the OPAC ( Online Public Access Catalog) that's the other and easiest way of finding the books aside from the DDC or Dewey Decimal Classification.

After a long hour of reading, summarizing, encoding important facts, details related to my topic I would think of going to another library in a nearby university. But my stomach disagreed so I walked down the narrow corridor of PNU headed to their canteen and eat the most sumptuous lunch ever.

That was my first meal in that day :(. It was the most sumptuous not because it was cooked perfectly but for the reason that I was hungry and never been taken my meal in that whole day. Then after eating my meal and I still had enough time I dropped by to the Universities' chapel which was so memorable to me during my stay in PNU while I was taking my Masters in Special Education.

After saying a little prayer in my loved chapel, I rushed to the first taxi or jeepney headed to the Avenida bus station. Hence, my day was completed and I let myself to be brought to slumber while the the bus driver was busy bringing us to our destination.

The world of SILENCE


At first, I was amazed with how deaf are talking with each other. I used to observe them and interpret the meanings of every sign they do..and WOW! It's really amazing! Hands are talking! Idea is transferred and understood through hands, normal individual like us can enter the world of the people who' s from birth were not given the chance to hear any sound.

I decided to enroll in PRID Philippine Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf. ( Aside from the fact that the school required us also). I thought learning the sign language will be boring, it was so strange at first..new environment, new people, new everything. But when the director Ma'am Beth Go delivered her message during the Opening Program on the first day of our class, I heard a very important and wonderful message that motivated me to continue my study of sign language.

" There are deaf who are victims of rape, there deaf who witnesses of a crime, but since people cannot understand them.. they are neglected and considered insane". .. True, isn't it? from then on, I saw my purpose, I realized why I am there in that school. Why I need to leave the house at 3 in the morning and take the earliest trip of a passenger bus every Saturday. Why I need to sacrifice my time even my money just to attend the class. Why I have many sleepless nights because I need to review for the next Saturday's class. It is an "aegean task" for me but I didn't stop and I have no plans of stopping. I will continue till I have the chance , the money , the time of continuing this worthy undertakings I have started.

Let us know our purpose, and let us find time to pursue it.
If that can be the only way to help and reach out to others who need us, let us not have the second thought. Let us make it happen.

Join me, as I enter the world of silence .

I always have a hard time showing my real self and telling other people how and what I felt. I just want to observe things , analyze and let go. Others might thought that I'm snob..hmmm sometimes but only to those people I dislike.

I love friendships, this is the ultimately relationship for me, more than marriage.

Like today I opened up to a boy friend which I do not usually do. It was so awkward but a very relieving one, and I know I can trust him because he trusted me some of his family secrets.

Everyday is really a different experience for all of us. What important is..we learn from those things and get , matured through it.

my baby

I was at the time of my life when I feel bored and would like to find new things. Things that will give me pleasure and will help me forget others that cause me a lot of frustrations. Until I realized that I can create my own way releasing the tension, stress and heartaches...hahahahaha ( that happens sometimes)

I just found myself creating my blog and I thought that I got lucky since this is not a networking site where most of the people can read the things you want to say , here I can post it , read it from time to time and update the different things that are happening to me with no pretensions.

And I will say goodbye to my FB account for now because I want to concentrate here in my new found BABY