you know my name, not the things I went through

I do not ask you to think what I think,

But please think in my way

For that is the only way to reach my soul....

People see others the way they want to look at them. You see them laugh, advise, giggle, goofing around.

Otherwise, no one sees them when they are alone, no one reads their minds in their most quiet hour.

No one might understand why they are thinking that way.

Are they weird? maybe yes for others but for people who knew them very well... they are unique. A unique being who sometimes thought everything for themselves.

In the most quiet time of a person's life he can find himself. He can understand why things have to be harshed sometimes. He can see both sides of the life situations and accept them. In that most quiet time he can appreciate the beauty of nature. The sunset , the waves, the sand.. everything around him that maybe nonsense to others but for him in his most quiet time is everything.

Then he reminisced all the things that happened to him in the past....good and bad, some among those things helped him to be a better one others made him worst... still he thank God for everything.

i can see clearly now

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright, bright

sun shiny- day...

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone

all of the bad feelings have disappeared

We cannot design the life that we want for many reasons. First, we can only use the opportunity or chances that we have on hand. Second, our finances dictate the things that we can do. Third, our parents sometimes hinder us. For those things mentioned, prove that life though we would like it to be better will not always be like that.

Same thing with our love life. We wish to be with a person that we love. We meet people along the way then think that one of these people will be our soul mate forever..sadly they are not until fate throw its magical quirk and let you fall in love with another person. We are always fooled by these circumstances that victimized us.

Then, we're ruin. We cry, we feel that everything is not on its right place. We want to retrieve the pieces from that unfortunate joke that the fate gave us. Suddenly, we look for companion then we found it from the people who help us to smile...our friends. We want solitude. We want to escape, to hide, to be somebody else. After that, we found ourselves. ....we then start to laugh, start to live, recognized the beauty of life and the things it offers. We found time for ourselves,. We picked up the pieces and mold them again to a new us. ...stronger, wise, cautious, more beautiful, free-spirited and still able to love again.

Then... we look back from our past selves. We saw her in the dark still crying waiting for the person she dreamed for a long time who at the moment is happy with someone else. We pity her. Then we smile, walk, sing and thank God because He made us a different person. Then we become proud of ourselves..... :)

upside down

" If you love..sacrifice, compromise, if you don't want to sacrifice and compromise then don't love... if you don't want to love... don't live!"

This quote hit me as i was watching the show of Anderson while he was doing the interview with Madonna last Sunday. Many questions bugged me afterwards, how far would a person do or undertake for the sake of love? Will those things worth to be sacrificed? What if you love the person but what you have sacrificed are not enough? Are you going to sacrifice everything, as in everything? When will you know that you need to stop sacrificing and loving the person?

These questions really made me think the whole day. And until now I am still confuse with the idea that keep on playing in mind. What if... I am just wasting my time with the emotion i thought will last for lifetime? What if... the decision I made long time ago for choosing the person to be with is a mistake? What if... God really want me to be alone.

Am I really ready to compromise and sacrifice everything up to the point that my own happiness will be set aside? With the present relationship that I have, there are times that I feel confuse whether or not I am really for it. I have some sleepless nights thinking and thinking over and over again for the life I am leading to. Not to mention the fact that I am not complete for not having a child of my own, and I realized that being married is not enough. I admired those couple who stick to the relationship though they are not blessed with children. And I admired those husbands and wives who have the guts to talk the matter over without arguing.

I always end up with a sad realization that I might not be happy and contented. With the people who know me may understand me; for those who cannot and will based their impression on what they read here.... I don't care!

guilty addiction

Cherish every moment........

She always has this in her mind.

To cherish every moment for she knows that it will not last.

He will be tied the knot soon so after then everything will change.

She knew it from the start but ignores it.

Now, the reality is near otherwise she needs to accept it.

It 's a funny story that the person you knew long time ago and dreamed to be with before loved another person . You were young then... and it broke your heart. Perhaps you hated falling in love again. But every time you got the chance to see him the pain faded away and you noticed that the love was still there.

Then......the circumstances let the both of you to be apart. Suddenly, you lost communication. Years passed, the only thing you have in your mind is the memory about him. Those things that you treasured and will always treasure. Then you thought that maybe you are not meant to be.

No news, no information for many years.... you sometimes heard something about him from his friend and every time you heard that you still feel the same feelings..... fresh, young love then you asked yourself why...you always end up with the same answer.. " i don't know".

You made your own life. You met new person. You set aside the feelings for in that time you knew that it's useless and you feel that you both do not have the same feelings. Though a part of your heart is still owned by that someone you started to have a life of your own.

Until that day .....

It was just an ordinary day for you when a chance came your way. That chance opened the opportunity to talk or at least say hello to the person you loved long time ago. He was the same person you knew. He loves his music, he is a funny guy, he speaks with sense ( hmmmmm not all the time... it's just that you feel it has sense because he is special hahahha).

Suddenly you retrieved all those days during your younger years. You heard from him that he will get married soon. Oh! you smiled. You are so happy for him. You somehow wish a certain thing, that wish that you just wanted to keep in your heart. Keeping that wish forever for you knew that no one will be interested to hear it or rather you don't have the guts to tell it even to the closest person in your life.

You got the chance to talk to him everyday. It always brighten your day. You enjoy every moment because you knew that sooner it will end. It will end for he is about to enter a new chapter of his life and you do not want to intervene.

So cherish every moment.

Store the memories in your mind.

Keep it for yourself.......... at the end of the day you will be happy thinking and reminiscing those moments that you are sharing thoughts together.

What does this 2012 promise us?

People are always busy preparing for the stuff in the coming year, thinking what to buy, what to cook, what to give to inaanaks etc.

We keep ourselves busy. What if after December 31, 2011 11:59 is the end of the world..hahahahhaha. Are we prepared who will eat the food that we prepared, who will receive the gifts that we bought?

Joking aside , we should live today. Let us not worry for the future. Let us give the best of ourselves to everybody. Be cheerful, worry not and live and love fully.

Dave used to be the apple of the eye of most teachers....... why? Why not!

Aside from he's charming, he is the oldest among the deaf students. He is 24 years old ( actually he is two year older than our youngest teacher in the school) and he behaves like 12 years old.... and maybe that made him more special.

The class atmosphere is not the same if he' s not around.

He is also called as the crowd's favorite. He roams around the whole school , enters each room from the different year levels and talks to every student and teacher.

He talks to people as if he really can talk...hehehe. He says something but what comes out from his lips is... a-bablabblabbllabbababblah.... that sound is sooo cute. Then people who hears it may laugh because they cannot understand what he uttered.

No one can understand. No one knows what he means. No one understands his feelings. No one reaches his idea, unless he will say it with a sign.

For us what he said is nothing but a sound, but for him.... it may be his whole self. Dave is a reminder that people who can hear the world must be satisfied for that opportunity and be happy.

not ready

Why people always die just to find a job?

Many of us really want to have a though not so lucrative but a job well compensating.

After we graduated from any college or university our first goal is to find a job and practice our profession. The fire in our hearts and the desire to work is really there.

But how about if you are already working more than ten years? Can you still feel the desire? Is there still the fire? the urge? the love for work? Or we see our job as a bullsh*t disturbance from our sleep?

After ten years of doing the same things, we feel the boredom the laziness. We feel tired , useless, futile, frivolous. We wanted to try other things that will give us excitement and that will ignite the fire in us and continue to pursue our vow of duty and that is to consider your profession as a vocation. Not merely as a melting cow but as something that we really cannot live without.

Why not trying to be active. Join some worthwhile groups doing worthwhile activities , sports, mountain climbing, music, tree planting and a lot more. These will really help you a lot not only because your time will be spent but also because you will meet new friends and learn from their experiences.

Try to explore. Get out from your shell. Experience the world and its wonders.

Try ! You will not lose anything instead you will surely gain from it.

I already tried . :)